Lilac
by jjscm01
Summary: Lilah snippets, seasons one to four.


The vampire is more attractive than she expected. She's only seen drawings of him, tucked away in the firm's vaults. Angelus, the demon with the face of an angel. Only he has a soul now. He's on the side of the angels.

She smiles as she sips her drink, watching him from across the room. Him being lured into a trap is the perfect opportunity for her to swoop in and rescue him. The brunette and the cute British guy who work for him won't be able to get to him, but she will. And he'll see that her side is the only one to be on.

She's intrigued by him. And she owes him, really, for taking care of Winters.

There's no reason why they can't work together.

...

Of all the drawbacks to working for Wolfram and Hart, having your mind read on a regular basis has to be the biggest. Lilah stares determinedly back at the readers, wondering how much of her past they can see, then reminds herself that she has nothing to hide. She's loyal to her employers.

It turns out the same can't be said for Lee, who gets a bullet in his head before he can even finish his excuses. Lilah instinctively turns away, suppressing a gasp of horror as she lowers her hand from her face. She's always despised Lee, but seeing him sprawled on the floor with blood seeping into the carpet beneath him feels like a surreal nightmare.

The rest of them are dismissed and hastily make to leave, murmuring about lunch meetings. Holland calls out Lindsey's name just as he reaches the door. Lindsey, who was standing right next to Lee when he was executed, is splattered in blood and looks even more shaken than Lilah feels. She pats him on the shoulder as she passes him, in a rare display of solidarity. He barely seems to notice.

...

She adjusts the wire in her shirt one last time. Lindsey will be leaving for the night around this time, and she needs to catch him alone in his office. It shouldn't be that hard to get him to agree to stealing company files on tape. She knows he's always had a thing for her, has caught him staring at her legs in board meetings often enough. And sure, lately he's been mooning over the blonde ex-whore, but clearly that's over now that she's a vampire again. Darla had laughed in his face earlier. He can't be that desperate.

She smooths down her hair, checks her makeup and practices her vulnerable face in her mirror before setting off to get Lindsey killed. It's nothing personal, not really, but one of them has to die and it's not going to be her.

...

_Oh God, Lindsey._ She watches helplessly as her only ally walks out of Wolfram and Hart. Moments ago she had been ready to pull the gun out of her purse and squeeze the trigger, sparing herself whatever kind of death the firm had in mind for her. Lindsey had grabbed both of her hands with a warning squeeze, then unleashed his tirade on their colleagues, saving her life in the process. She had tried to look like she knew what he was talking about when he claimed she had files on everyone in the room.

She doesn't feel like the winner here, even as she dimly hears Nathan announcing her promotion. They've only chosen her by default. She's alive, but for how long, and how is she going to survive?

She's alone now.

...

Gavin is gone, finally. Stiffly, afraid he might come back, Lilah moves from where she is lying on the floor. She's covered in bruises and her eyes feel swollen. She pulls herself into a sitting position, wincing with each small movement and trying not to think about the last time she felt this helpless.

Oddly enough, she doesn't blame Gavin for the attack. He may be a bureaucratic and incompetent pain in her ass, but she knows he would never have brutalised her of his own accord. This was Billy's doing. She only has herself to blame for bringing him here, to this dimension.

She needs a drink. And some good makeup to cover her injuries. And her gun.

A small sob escapes her lips as she tries to work out her next move.

...

She never sleeps when she's in bed with Wesley. She's acquired a healthy measure of paranoia working for the firm, used to sleeping with one eye open. Instead she stares up at the ceiling, fingers toying with the bedsheets, while Wesley sleeps beside her. He looks more handsome in sleep, despite the occasional snore.

"Wes?" she whispers. When he doesn't respond she carefully disentangles herself and sits up, reaching for her clothes.

"Where are you going?" he says, wide awake after all.

She smiles in spite of herself. "Home."

"You can stay the night, you know."

"I need my moisturiser."

"That's your best excuse?" He cocks an eyebrow.

"Skincare is important."

"Li..." He trails a hand down her bare arm. She leans in to kiss him and her planned departure is delayed for a while. Afterwards, she makes sure he's really asleep before moving again.

...

The nurse leads her through to the large, well-lit room where her mother now lives. The best room money can buy.

"So, Lilah. That's a pretty name." The nurse's tone is kind.

Lilah smiles in return. "It means lilac. My mother's favourite colour. She didn't feel the same way about me, but..." The nurse laughs like she thinks Lilah's joking.

They enter the room together. Her mother is sitting by the nearest window, looking out into the distance.

"Mom?" Lilah whispers, as she approaches softly. There's no response.

"She may not talk while you're here," the nurse advises. "She doesn't seem to remember much."

Lilah looks down at the woman who raised her. The features that look so much like Lilah's are glazed over.

"That's probably for the best."


End file.
